Enter your wedding date and the calculator works backwards: when save-the-dates and invitations should go out, the RSVP deadline, the day to chase, the day the caterer needs a number, and when the seating plan must be done — every date with its arithmetic, plus a calendar file and a chase text you can send.
Free, no account. Made by Vowlist — the guest list, budget and checklist are free; the RSVP link is $79 once, no subscription.
Pick a date and the milestones appear here.
Invitations go out 8 weeks before the wedding when most guests are local, 10 for a mixed list, 12 when most people must travel — that is the only "rule" in this calculator, and it is a planning convention, not a statistic. Everything else is subtraction: the caterer wants a final number some days before the day (14 is common; your contract is the truth), the RSVP deadline sits 10 days before that so you have time to chase, and the chase message goes out the morning after the deadline. Save-the-dates, if you send them, go out around six months ahead — eight when guests need flights.
Why online RSVPs let you set a later deadline. A paper reply card carries two postal legs (to the guest, back to you) and a retyping step before it becomes a number on a list; a link is opened, tapped and counted the same minute, from the same phone the invitation photo is on. That takes the postal lag out of both ends, so the reply-by date can sit a little closer to the caterer's date. It does not remove the human lag — people forget either way — which is why the buffer stays.
Nothing dramatic. The next morning, sort your list by "no reply" and send the chase text above — one message, from you, to the households that have not answered. Vowlist never emails or messages your guests, and it never will; the household link is yours to send. If you use Vowlist, the guest page shows "Reply by …" and closes after that day, so late repliers see a clear message instead of a form that quietly still works. Give the stragglers three days, then treat silence as a no and give the caterer the number you have.
The most common error is to print the caterer's final-count date as the RSVP deadline. Then the last replies, the chase, and the guests who "meant to" all land on the day you have to commit — and every late "yes" is a phone call to the venue. Put the deadline earlier by the buffer, keep the caterer's date as your private milestone, and the last week is arithmetic instead of anxiety.
This tool's answer is the gap between "Invitations mailed" and "RSVP deadline" — usually 5–8 weeks depending on your guest mix and caterer lead time. Long enough that people can check diaries and book travel; short enough that the date is not forgotten. Any longer and the invitation goes to the bottom of the pile.
Yes — it is your date. In Vowlist the guest page shows "Reply by {date}" and locks after that day; change the date in Wedding details and it reopens. Extend for everyone once rather than negotiating one by one, and only if the caterer's final count still gives you room. The guest-page demo below shows the "Reply by" line.
Send one chase message the day after the deadline (the text above; you send it, from your own phone or email — Vowlist never messages guests). Give them three days. Then, honestly, count no-reply as no: tell the caterer the number you have, and if a straggler turns up in your inbox later you can usually add a seat more easily than you can remove one.
Because a chunk of guests reply late, and the day you have to give a number is the worst day to be chasing. The buffer here is 10 days: deadline, one day to chase, a few days for answers, and a margin before you commit to the caterer. If your contract says 7 days, tighten it; if it says 21, you can relax.
A little. A mailed card has to travel to the guest, sit on a fridge, travel back, and be typed into a list; a link is opened, tapped and counted the same minute. That removes the postal lag at both ends and the retyping — a few days each way — so the reply-by date can sit closer to the caterer's deadline. It does not remove the human lag: people still forget. Keep the buffer.
See "Reply by" on the guest page demo →
Put them in a free Vowlist account and "Reply by" appears on your guest page automatically, next to the guest list, budget and checklist — free, no card. The RSVP link (one per household, no app for guests, we never message them, replies export as CSV) is $79 once. Not sure of the wording? The RSVP wording generator writes the reply-by line for you.